My Tribute to Cathy

Early in the morning of December 7th, I woke with the need to write Cathy a letter. I believe it was Cathy giving me a last hug on her way by that woke me.

Here is the letter I wrote:

If you envision the world as a huge forest then, before I knew Cathy, I was stranded in it, with darkness all around me and the cries of nearby animals loud in my ears. Fear and desolation were my companions.

The innumerable trees in that forest represent Cathy's love. When she found me in the forest she lit a fire for us and fueled it with her love. This glorious fire kept me warm and safe from the forest's dangers. She always had an abundance of firewood, never admonishing me to huddle close to a small fire, but building a huge bonfire sending a glorious shower of sparks into the sky. Her love knew no limits and she had more than enough firewood to keep that fire blazing through all my nights. Her love kept me warm and safe from the forest's dangers.

Cathy always knew when my fire was burning low and she would appear out of the darkness, arms overflowing with more firewood.

Now I am overwhelmed with the knowledge that the firewood supply, which I foolishly thought was endless, is not. Our fire will never again blaze up to the heavens in all its glory. But I have realized if I tend my fire carefully she has left me enough firewood to stay warm and safe from the dangers of the night. I will stay vigilant and feed the glowing embers with all the memories we made together. And when those of us whom she so dearly loved gather together, we can nurture each others fires.

We weep for ourselves that we will no longer rejoice in that blazing fire sending beautiful sparks into the dark moonless sky. Our world is darker now and we are bereft.

Hi everyone... this is Sandy. It is with a heavy heart that I announce that Cathy passed away last night about 10:30 with John and the girls by her side. I am relieved to say she passed away peacefully with minimal pain. Due to the timing there will be a private service this week and there will be a memorial/celebration of Cathy's Life in January that you will be advised of later. The family has requested in Lieu of flowers donations be made to the Wings Of Providence, which is a womens shelter in Edmonton. Their address is Box 32141 Edmonton, Alberta T6K 4C2. The phone number is (780)426-4985 and their website is www.wingsofprovidence.ca and donations can be made on line. A big thank you for all the support we have received. Hope you all have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Safe New Year and we all look forward to seeing you in January.

Hi everyone... just got back from Devon. Cathy is resting comfortably and is really at peace. We had a little birthday party for John in Cathys room tonight. Sang Happy Birthday and had cake with candles. Cathy has been taking small doses of morophine to help her sleep at night because she is starting to experience some pains from cramping in her abdomin but she even asked to have that delayed so she could join in with our little party when John got there. John is taking next week off so I am sure Cathy will really enjoy that. Talk to you soon Love Sandy

Hi this is Sandy. I am sorry we have not been keeping the blog up to date but I wanted to wait until I went up to Devon today so I knew what I was going to say. It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that Cathy has slipped into the final stages of her cancer. I was up to see her last Wednesday and we had a good visit. She sat up in her chair for 4 hours and visited with us and it was wonderful. Unfortunately Cathy took a turn on Thursday. It was like she didnt want to talk to anyone and she did not want to get out of bed. She was just too tired. At the time we were not sure if it was because she was worried about having the Cat Scan done on Thursday and the possibility of starting chemo again... if she had another small stroke... or if it was the cancer. As Cathy Brown has blogged the oncologist told the family on Monday that her liver is full of cancer and there will not be any more treatments. Since last Thursday Cathy has been sleeping most of the day and if you ask her a question she will answer it but she is not interested in carrying on a conversation. Mom and I went up today to see her and Wanda, Larry, Ashley & I are going up tomorrow as it is Johns birthday. I will try to keep you better posted as I will be up there all next week for the Roar to the Rings (curling) and I am hoping to see Cathy alot. For those of you who are asking what you can do to help unfortunately there is nothing any of us can do but pray. I again want to thank you all for your outpouring of support and love it is not going unnoticed even if we are not getting around to responding to you all. Love you all Sandy

From Cathy Brown:

Cathy saw the oncologist on Monday. The CT showed that her tumor has grown and is now filling her liver. While it hasn't spread beyond her liver, the chemo is not working. It was a very hard decision, but Cathy has decided not to continue with further chemotherapy. She remains at the Devon hospital and is not in any pain, just very tired.